Funny Friday: Do Bay Streeters speak 'Wall Street-ese'?

Toronto advisors fancy themselves card-carrying members of the big league, but do they understand -- let alone speak -- 'Wall Street-ese'?

Funny Friday: Do Bay Streeters speak 'Wall Street-ese'?

If Wall Street makes the financial world go round, it may behoove industry players on this side of the border to learn its language. With that in mind, WP presents a pop quiz on the terms and slang words that advisors in the Big Apple -- no matter how far removed for the hustle and bustle of the trading floor -- bandy about.

That jargon is, of course, based on money, and the definitions come courtesy of

Jargon Pop Quiz
1. What does "Long"/"short" mean?
2. What does "Sold!" mean?

3. "A piker" is ...

4. Fill in the following: "Big swinging d----"

5. What does "Hunting elephants" mean?

6. What does "Buying size" mean?

7. Translate "F-You money"

8. Translate "Junked up"

9. What's "A clowngrade"?


Answers (sorry, they're not upside down)

1.  Long and short, used to describe investments expected to go up or down, respectively, are used to replace positive or negative feelings about anything. A typical usage:
Banker 1: "I'm long seersucker, short flannel. Hipsters are a fad, my friend."
To communicate absolute certainty, a banker may say they're "triple long" or "triple short" an outcome or object.

2. A sarcastic way to say "absolutely not." A typical usage:
Banker 1: Let’s watch ‘Love Actually’
Banker 2: SOLD

3. A piker is somebody who pretends to know everything about the Street but doesn't actually know anything and makes very little money working for bottom tier firm.
This term comes from the late 19th century slang verb "pike" meaning "withdraw from an agreement because of overcautiousness."

4. If you don't know this term, you haven't been anywhere near anyone on Wall Street. The BSD is the person that does the biggest deals, bring in the most money, and is generally a badass everyone looks up to.
The term was referenced in Michael Lewis's "Liar's Poker": "If he could make millions of dollars come out of those phones, he became that most revered of all species: a Big Swinging D*ck."

5. Most famously said by Warren Buffett, this means that you're looking for big deals. Here's how he put it after announcing that he would do a deal to acquire Heinz with private equity firm 3G.
"I'm ready for another elephant. Please, if you see any walking by, just call me," he told CNBC. "We're prepared. Our elephant gun has been reloaded, and my trigger finger is itchy."

6. Trading big money or a large number of securities.
Hedge fund trader: "I have a friend over at Morgan Stanley that trades size all day every day. We should poach him."

7. The money it would take for you to leave your job and never work again.

8. This can be in reference to any security, and it means you're super bullish. Traders could also use it in real life to express enthusiasm for an object.
Trader: "I'm junked up on Venezuelan 10-years!"

9. When a sellside analyst upgrades or downgrades a stock for a stupid reason.
Trader: "You see that Guggenheim analysts' Twitter clowngrade? You can't monetize that s--- yet!"

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